


Socks Hell Homer

by archea2



Series: Old Tales Twice Told [6]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Afterlife, Crossover, Dante - Freeform, Humor, Limbo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-10 00:31:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archea2/pseuds/archea2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Due to a little miscalculation, Sherlock ends up in Limbo with a glut of Virtuous Pagans.  Crossover-ish with Dante's <i>Inferno</i>.</p><p>(Written after I'd asked an anagram website for all possible combinations of "Sherlock Holmes".)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Socks Hell Homer

Sherlock's final plan, in the way of all masterplans, had an unexpected fallout.

Not only did it slightly derail, tipping him head first into the Afterworld, but the Immortals were now having a field day trying to sort his fate. Hell was vociferous in its opinion that Sherlock's selfishness, rudeness and complete irresponsibility in saddling them with Jim Moriarty warranted a no-limit gift voucher for damnation. Heaven begged to remind Hell that Sherlock had died willing to sacrifice, if not his life, at least his fame, and that he'd be picklocking his way past Peter anyway, so they had a priority on him.

Sherlock, after a few attempts to suggest they consult him, had slipped off and down noiselessly. Fire and brimstone were A-1 experiment material, not to mention a first-hand tutorial with a number of Popes on the fine art of poisoning. Unfortunately for him, Heaven had already slipped Charon a few extra pennies, and Sherlock ended up stuck in the First Circle with a glut of Virtuous Pagans.

A fortnight after his arrival, the Virtuous Pagans went into meltdown and sent up a petition. They also sent up Homer to sing the petition, which had been couched in virulent hexameters. Sherlock, the hexameters griped, was a disgrace to the place. He'd driven both Thales and Euclid literally out of their wits by demanding they revise zero-based computing to accomodate Internet in Limbo. He kept calling Hippocrates John and, on one unforgettable occasion, had asked Queen Penthasilea to make him tea. There had even been mention of sugar - two pieces, mark the decadence! His deductions of Cicero's past political arrangements had been entirely uncalled-for. And his hyacinthine curls and bright-eyed winks were derouting a fair share of _kouroi_ from their virtuous agenda.

Even worse, he was the only worthy in Limbo to wear socks, and his flat refusal to stroll barefoot like everyone else, or, in fact, stroll at all, was an affront to their collective ethos. Limbo was humbly, firmly and dactylically expecting Above to clear the mess. Or face the music and let Sherlock go  _sto diaolo_.

Once Homer had said his say, with a last angry twirl of harp, Above made a quick survey of its own pristine venues. Granted, the man had defeated two mass-murderers and played a mean violin. Still... with the Archangelic elections at such close quarters... and taking into consideration the Wise Virgin Anthea's latest report...

A compromise was struck between the two realms and Sherlock woke up, dizzy and disoriented, under London Bridge. He was rather astonished to find himself an old wizened man with a thatch of white hair and a collection of ancient books that included the complete works of Catullus. Still, the Virtuous Pagans, for all their resentment, had allowed him to keep his socks, and the warm woolly feel was enough to direct him towards John and Baker Street, happily hobbling.

**Author's Note:**

> Both the ending and "the complete works of Catullus" are a wink to ACD's canon story, "The Empty House".


End file.
